


Everlasting Light

by CorvidRoses



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 22:47:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29358231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CorvidRoses/pseuds/CorvidRoses
Summary: Sometimes it's easier to keep things to yourself
Relationships: Emet-Selch & Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV)
Kudos: 1





	Everlasting Light

“Emet-Selch?” 

The call was hesitant, almost as if the Warrior was hiding the fact that he was calling upon the other for something so silly. His gaze turned to the treetops of Fanow, he almost believed the other wouldn’t heed him; that he wasn’t of his importance. It didn’t hurt to think so, but he'd almost wished he could count on him. It was far from his usual to trust any Ascian, and he wasn’t about to start today, but if he could really help; to give him some clarity...he had already let slip so much.

Despite his doubtful thoughts however, he came.

“I swear, if you’ve already lost that Y’shtola again I’ll- oh…” Emet-Selch paused, an observation at his lips as he looked the miqo’te up and down, sensing the queries grasping at his tongue.  
“Well, what is it that you want then? More bothersome questions, I assume?”

A’Tali’s tail flickered nervously, and his pale gaze averted the ascian’s. It wasn’t just the fact that he was an ascian that made him uneasy, but rather that it always felt there was something he wanted to tell him hanging over him at all times. Like he knew something the warrior didn’t. That was bothersome.  
“Unfortunately, yes. Though can you blame me?”

The ascian smiled, clearly proud of his natural-born theatrics.  
“No~ I suppose I cannot~ out with it then. What troubles the weary wanderer?”

A’Tali backed away as the other tried to lean forward in intimidation, before he resorted to leaning against the wooden railing of the Fanow canopy, looking out to the seemingly endless forest.  
“You mentioned earlier that you despise this light. That it hurts to exist under it. I wonder...is it only because of Hydaelyn or...is it for another reason? I’ve seen other Ascians plot underneath sunny skies...I only wonder why you try to evade it.”

Emet-Selch was silenced for the moment, simply watching the Warrior’s curious eyes wander far amongst the trees, clearly trying to avoid his own piercing gaze. He couldn’t blame him; he’d been known by many to have a cold and threatening glance, one wrong look and the Warrior would lose his cool. How was one to answer this question properly however? He felt as if he thought about it long enough to surprise the other, usually he was so quick to answer, but this was a far more...kept thing.  
“I suppose I have my own personal reasons. For one, it causes the greatest of headaches and makes me long for a nap.” He paused then, turning to the other with a cocked brow.  
“Why do you ask? Trying to exploit my weaknesses, o warrior?”

It was then that A’Tali finally met his gaze, those pale eyes seeming to pierce surprised golden ones as all the ascian was met with was an almost...playful smile.  
“I just think it sounds like there’s a reason behind it~ I know a story when I see one, though I know I’m not going to be told it. You’re not one to tell people things you wouldn’t even admit to your dearest brothers.”

The ascian scoffed at this, somewhat annoyed by the familiar behavior of the other. All this time he’d considered A’Tali a more reasonable version of them...but he could be just as invasive and inquisitive. How very annoying.  
“You’re certainly more intuitive than you admit...Well if you knew such a thing, why would you bother to ask?”

“I figured you liked talking, is all. I know a lonely person when I see them. You won’t admit it...but you visit so often because it entertains you. Otherwise you sleep your days away~ I’ve met many people like you.” A’Tali shrugged, subconsciously digging his nail into the wooden railing in front of him. It was interesting to see, an ascian who favored talking over jumping to an attack. Though he wasn’t comfortable in the slightest, it was a different kind of ease to be in the presence of the other and learn about how they really worked, innocently, and not in any means against him.

But with another sigh from the ancient being, he only felt like he was upsetting him more and more. 

“My apologies for overstepping. I suppose I just overthink every so often.” A sigh, almost like a laugh escaped him, and he turned his gaze over to the lower floors of the Viis home; Runar seemed to be recovering thanks to the antidote, and Y’shtola was still getting back on her feet as the looming Scions fussed over her well-being- Ryne most especially, it seemed...the poor thing.   
“I suppose I was simply searching for a shift in perspective. A writer’s habit, I confess…”

It was strange. A’Tali seemed so much more...thoughtful and intelligent when he was alone. Maybe it was because he was constantly surrounded by those with powerful minds that he felt the need to only use his emotions and physical prowess instead, or maybe it was because he thought about things best by himself, without bias from another. Whatever the case, it almost felt nostalgic to the ascian...almost. Seeing his pale eyes light up with thought prodded at a part of him, and he wanted to ignore it. He would ignore it. He’d already allowed himself to be nostalgic and it was a tremendous mistake. He wouldn’t make it again. Shifting away from the other once more, he made to leave him for his comforting void.  
“Consider me untroubled, but know this; I’ve had my fair share of trouble with your Mother Crystal, and she is wont to be just as controlling as Zodiark at times. At least I don’t have much of a choice when it comes to Zodiark, now do I?”

The Warrior was silent for a moment, processing his words so as to not offend him once more.  
“...no I suppose not.”

“Well then that would be my reasoning. Why trifle with gods who would tear you apart at the seam when you’ve no protection? Hydaelyn would take any chances she could have to eliminate us; most importantly, Elidibus and I. Why should I choose not to be cautious? Think on it, Hero.”

And he left him with that, though there was much more to it then that. He would never understand the full story, could never know why he hid from the light. Emet-Selch would provide him with much knowledge, but he would never admit his personal blunders, especially not ones that haunted him after thousands of years. No, that was to be kept between him and time...no one else would carry the burden.

For all he knew, she was still carrying it after all these years, and he couldn’t do anything to change this.  
—  
The warmth of her crystal is all that comforts me now, She mused to herself in what she thought would be her dying moments. As the corrupted crystal climbed higher and further up her body. It had already rendered her unable to move; her legs fused to the floor as she sat and watched on as the stars shone brightly in the sky, brighter than she’d ever seen them. She could get used to this. It was a pretty sight, after all. Would that she could do so with at least one other person...but no one would face eternity with the spirit she had. All immortal beings are eventually doomed to lose themselves to time, so she eventually would as well. Maybe this was a good thing. Maybe…

Gently, she pressed the light crystal to her lips, the warmth immediately felt against them as she sighed in relief.  
“We’ll be together in a way...that’s not such a bad way of looking at it, right…?” She spoke to it as if it could respond, as if it was another comm link and Azalea had heard her, but chose not to reply. She always did like sleeping when she needed to tell her something important. She would think about things like this when she was long gone, always about Azalea, until the day she could see her again.

She hardly paid any attention to the rumbling steps ascending the climb to the now pitch black center of her garden, only preoccupied with calming thoughts of what used to be. That was what would get her through in the end, even if she became a horrible, mindless beast. Somewhere, somehow she would be thinking of her.

And then, she felt the gentle nudge of a fur ridden head, and she couldn’t help but look up at the voidsent towering over her. Only...it wasn’t simply a voidsent…

“Cerberus...my, have you gotten quite large…” she nearly gasped it, peering up to her once normal sized guardian as he gently nudged her again with his middle head, and she weakly raised her arms to pet along his giant muzzle.  
“You must have gotten quite worried about me after I left...oh I’m so sorry...but...full glad am I to know I have you with me, to watch over me.” She paused, before meeting the beast’s gaze, knowing that even though he was her companion, she knew the only reason he wouldn’t attack was because he recognized her as one of them…

Her hands gently slipped from his face.  
“You...wouldn’t mind staying, would you? I’d be awfully lonely without you~” a selfish plea, though he’d always wanted to be by her side, she knew this. He truly was a loyal pup, and he proved it as he leaned over to gently lick her cheek, his giant tongue leaving a bit more slabber than he’d intended. She hardly minded the crystal creeping up her body now as she spent these moments with a friend, but she knew she would have to be reminded eventually, and it was when he began to growl that she realized something was amiss.

Turning as much as she could to get a look behind her, her heart immediately sank as she met a familiar, golden gaze. If she could’ve moved then, she would have shaken mountains, but all she had was her bright and burning glare.

“Why are you still here…? To mock me? To watch as I prove you right in that I’m just some incomplete-“

“Selene.” That wretched name he’d used to distance her from who she was. Selene: the moon. Everything he wanted her to be that she could never be. Would never be. His voice was tired, and she looked away to avoid his manipulative gaze. She wouldn’t give in to her past anymore. He would be the first she’d destroy.

“I came to say goodbye.”

They both knew that if her tail could still flicker, it would. The skip in her darkened soul was apparent to him, though it was tragic to watch as such a unique hue faded to grey. Tragic in its entirety, really...it didn’t have to end like this. Why would she choose to have it end like this? All for one incomplete soul...she could have a complete Azalea on the source if only she’d waited…

And that was the saddest part of all, that she would share the same fate as his long departed friend, all for the same fool who flew too close to the sun. Though for Terha, she loved only a fragment of that...a fragment that, to him, would be better as a whole. 

“Why? Because you were never able to before? Was I more stubborn than he was? Well tell me how better he was than me, I’ve heard it all…” the bitterness in her tone stung him, the hatred and heartbreak in her eyes clear as he carefully rounded her slowly solidifying form. It was up to her middle now, he was running out of time. Time...what a funny new concept these mortals worried about…

“Terha, please...listen to me.” His voice...it sounded...pained, like there was something caught in his throat but he refused to swallow it. His sharp gaze softened as he knelt down in front of her, watching as Cerberus cautiously gave them space; his eyes were all on the ascian. If he needed to, he would take a bite. But if he was using her name...there was something still left of the man, or at least she’d hoped.

“I can’t exactly walk away anymore, can I…?” Her laugh was an exhausted one, her head hanging low now as she dreaded whatever final lecture she was about to receive. One last reminder of how careless and insignificant and incomplete she was. That was exactly what she needed to steer her over the edge. She squeezed her eyes shut in preparation. Whatever end she would meet now, she didn’t care, as long as he was destroyed first.

But then...instead of the threatening feeling of his claws dragging along her neck, she was instead greeted by an ungloved hand gently cupping her cheek. She couldn’t help but inhale sharply, the warmth of his hand still remaining despite his immortal, shadowy form looming in front of her. If she didn’t know any better, her mind would fairly call back to a time far before this. To a small child, easily comforted by her father’s gentle embrace as she listened to him hum along to the orchestrion’s gentle chimes. Instinctively however, she leaned into the touch; the fatigue of it all finally crashing in on her. If she was going to perish here, at least she could hope to indulge in this final moment. She didn’t want to lose herself alone…

The ascian looked on in great pain, feeling the weight of her head press against the palm of his hand, like a touch-starved child. He heard the thankful sigh at her lips. Despite the yelling and the hatred and the bitterness, she still loved him. Maybe that was the saddest part, that he didn’t deserve to be looked up to as he was, and he knew this...and yet she still counted on him. Still sought him out for comfort, however subtly…

“Believe me, I had no intentions of coming here to reprimand you. I…” For the first time in what felt like forever, he didn’t have the words to explain himself to her. The hope in her eyes could no longer be found, and she refused to fight him anymore, she was simply trying to live in the past while she still could, as he’d done the same all these years. He could feel the tears pricking at his eyes from this, trying to blink them back.  
“This was not a waste. You were a comfort to me, both of you...I had hoped I could bring you with me when all of this was over, but it was ever fated to fail…”

A sigh, as his tears silently spilt over, and though he knew she could no longer move her arms, he gently leaned in to embrace her, that he knows she needs it. He feels her whimper against his coat.  
“I understand that you loathe me. I was never good to you...but Terha, I am proud of you for trying...you did more than I ever could.”

There was a great exhale against him, and he could feel the crystal creeping up her back, if only there were more time…

“Father…may I ask one last thing of you…?” It was soft, but he heard it. Gently, he backed away, trying to ignore the crystal now at her neck. She was so tired now, he would never forget this…

He simply nodded, watching her smile in relief.

“Deliver my gem to Azalea. I cannot be left with this magic as a voidsent. As long as I remain without it...there will be no risk of me crossing the rift…” she pleaded, and Emet-Selch’s gaze flickered to the red stone resting atop her head. Ever reliable it had been. Ever protecting. Removing it was no simple task, but to him...he would rid her of it painlessly. Despite wanting to object, there was that small part of him that remained that knew she was doing all she could. He would keep her promise, he decided. Carefully brushing her bangs aside, he leaned forward to press a kiss to the top of her head, blinking more silent tears away.

“I shall try. For you…” it was all he could say, but he knew he’d gotten through to her, a weak exhale escaping her, and he’d almost thought it was her last, before she whispered.

“Thank you…I shall miss you, but I hope that one day when all of this is over...I might be able to meet the Hades you told me stories about…because if you are anything like him then...truly, there will always still be good in you…”

His hand brushed back through her hair, withered white with the drain of color. She spared one last glance to him, those scarlet eyes always shining with belief…  
“When all of this is over...indeed…” he wished he could have said it in agreement, but it was simply a phrase that drifted at his lips. He loved her dearly, more than most of the mortals he would meet. There would never be anyone like her again...not even the shard that decided to take up her mantle, what was rightfully hers had she gone with him...but their reunion was only star crossed, never again to be.

His last act was finished, as he pulled his hand away, stripping her of her gem and her magic and uttering one last “Good night, little star.” To her, as he watched her completely solidify. And then that was it. The end of their story. Just like the one that preceded this.

As the great hound surrounded her once more, he distanced himself, glancing down to the stone in his hand and thinking on the promise he’d made to her. Azalea would never want to see him after this...but gods would he have to try...for her. 

He would return time and time again however, to watch her. To make sure she was still here. She was always here...this was her kingdom now, an eternal night. But despite her power, she would always need something, someone. And though he humored himself with the idea of her never finding him, they both knew he watched from afar. Despite her rage, it was a comfort.

Mortal hearts were such fickle things, after all.  
—  
Before the Thirteenth collapsed in on itself, most ascians had no need to traverse the rift. They saw the starter world as their home, and would continue to do so long after its fall. The darkness was their only respite, and for the most part, the void left them alone.

But to travel the rift for the first time, it nearly made Emet-Selch sick to his stomach. The balance of light and dark across planes was difficult to comprehend, and he’d wondered how in the seven hells did Terha ever manage to throw her fallen warrior across.

It wouldn’t be hard to figure out, he realized as he came upon what he first thought to be a cluster of crystals gathering around the way to the Source; a small obstacle, none that he couldn’t whisk aside with a simple flick of the wrist. But then...he heard the smallest of exhales. And he stopped.

As he came upon the opening, he saw what looked like the warrior he believed to have been felled by the Void, curled up and shaking as crystal overtook her body. A familiar sight, one he’d never thought he’d see again. It fairly brought him back to that night...where he would find himself holding his lover at the edge of a world shattering calamity, as they were slowly claimed by the crystalline mother, not of their own will...never, of their own…

The sight fair brought a tear to his eye, that another fragment of them would share the same fate. Those who rebelled against their shared fate with the mother crystal were often gripped tight and forced to become one. In the end, she truly was no different from the likes of Zodiark…in the end, no mortal could be safe under a god.

But their sacrifice would not be in vain.

The smallest exhale stirred him from his thoughts, and his eyes flickered down to the girl; her breathing was labored, and one could easily tell that her limited movement was only causing her condition to spread faster. He would need to help her in order to halt it.

And...that was what he did.

He’d be lying to himself if he said it didn’t hurt to lift her from her crystallizing cradle, the feeling of the overwhelming abundance of light seeping from her was a feeling akin to the likes of suspending one's hand over a hot stove. The light would eat at him, given time, but for now...he would do that which he didn’t have enough time for in the past. If there was any chance of sustaining this memory, as they'd wanted…

He watched in silence as her weary head lolled itself to the side, falling gently against his chest. If one didn’t know of her suffering, they would think she was simply sleeping, as they trekked along together in the expanse of the rift. It felt like hours had passed in silence as these beings of light and darkness traversed together. They would have loved something as mysterious as this, The Ascian thought to himself. 

“...Emet...Selch?”

Emet stopped in his tracks then, just across the way from where they were to exit. So she had her memories intact then. A good thing to have. As he met her familiar gaze, he could immediately see the fatigue in them. The anger and hatred she held only days ago had washed away for this look of...defeat...fatigue...it was just as he was after he’d lost everything he once knew. He couldn’t blame her for feeling the same. 

“Good, you still have it in you to remain conscious…” he sighed, gently shifting her against him as he watched what he thought to be a gateway to the Source shift around, as if constantly blinking through time. One single second apart and you could be separated across time…

“Terha...where is Terha…?”

He held his breath then, his hold on her weakening as he decided it would be best to lower themselves to the floor of the platform. He tried to pass it off as setting her down, but they could both sense the weariness he held within him. His soul was an ever wavering thing. Every life that was picked off in front of him, gruesome to him but insignificant in His grand scheme of things…

“She is gone.” It was all he could say, what more was there to it? She couldn’t be saved, they couldn’t go back, neither had the heart or soul to do so. He knew she would try, but she was falling apart as she was…

“...then why haven’t you killed me yet…?”

Her dimly lit gaze met his, and it was clear that she was fighting unconsciousness as she searched for her answer in his cold, golden gaze. His brows furrowed, out of sorrow or sadness or simply fatigue, he couldn’t decipher himself.

“Because she valued you, she always did. And if I can ensure her plan comes to fruition, I will not stand to begrudge myself worse than I already have. So please, don’t make this difficult for me.” He almost huffed it, if it weren’t for the blessing of the light weighing heavy against him. He knew what he must do...but he wasn’t sure if he had the strength to do so. They were all still so new to this reality, who was quite sure what they were capable of where…

But the rift was ever unpredictable, and the limits of one's power was unknown here. He lifted his hand to her head, brushing away her messy bangs and pressing his palm flat against her forehead. She merely leaned into it, closing her eyes. He had seen defeat before, but never like this. Never like he once experienced himself. Losing everyone you loved, it was too heavy a burden for any heart to hold. Such was the reason that he had to do this. She could not turn out like him. Who knew what destruction a bringer of light could create if they grew to be like him; ancient, and alone.

He hesitated.

“One last thing, my dear.”

She didn’t open her eyes, not until she felt his free hand slipping something into hers, and a chill ran up her spine. It was hard to feel anything at this point, but as her fingers weakly traveled over the familiar stone in her hand, she knew exactly what she possessed. She could name every ridge and corner and bump in that gem. She would always know it. It was the only thing left of her home.

“Keep her with you. This was her last request to me. That she would be with you, always.”

She never opened her eyes once, but she held the gem close to her heart, what little tears she could produce trailing silently down her cheeks. She would. A thousand times over would she protect what was left of her. It was her promise she’d made so long ago now…

And then, she opened her eyes. Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out the warm stone that had been pressed against her, almost forgotten. Almost.

She held it out for him, and she could hear the tiny exhalation from his lips. It was something he thought he’d lost forever. A most precious gift, entrusted to her for reasons she never understood why. It was almost too quick that he went to take it, as if the sentiment between these two stones was the same with them. The remnants of a lover, entrusted to someone who could see them home. The citrine stone was plucked from her hands, and all was quiet for a moment as he gazed upon it, unsure if he was ever going to see it again.

She felt his thumb brush against her forehead, almost...lovingly. It was a feeling she hadn’t felt in so long...not since she was a girl and he had the patience to train her. How they both wished things were easy then, that they could return to those days. But kneeling here now, they knew it would never come to be, and as she watched him tuck away the stone, she closed her eyes once more, respecting that the last thing he’d ever want to do was look into the eyes of an old friend again when doing something like this.

“Alright, I’m ready.” She affirmed, clutching her gem close to her, and letting the warmth of it radiate around her. She felt safe with Terha by her side. She knew it would comfort her and guide her to the lifestream. It would be alright.

The pain was swift, and felt as if her head were knocked against something quite aggressively. But when she came to, she had no recollection of where she was. Whatever he had done, it worked.

He...but who was he again?

“Are we lost, my dear?”

She turned at the sound of the voice, her eyes blinking through the blinding light to peer upon a lone man with golden eyes. His hair was dark, but it swooped a small bit of white over one of his eyes. He seemed intimidating but...something about him seemed calm...welcoming even.

“I...believe I am. Am I dead? Are you an Angel?”

The man chuckled at her naive questions, before offering her his gloved hand.  
“Not quite, I am simply a guide. For those who have lost their way, I point them in the right direction.” He paused then, gesturing to the portal in front of them.   
“And that way, would be yours.”

Azalea’s gaze fell to the portal, and with shaky legs, managed to get herself to stand. It was then that the older man led her towards it, his demeanor remaining calm. He...felt like a father somehow, like she could trust him. Though, how much else could she trust in an unknown expanse like this?  
“This way is mine...and what of it if I step through? Will I ever see you again?”

“I would think not, though it would perhaps do you good if you didn’t. It was merely a mistake that you were able to see me even now.” He explained, before watching her eye the gem in her hand curiously.  
“Ah that...keep it, will you? It’s quite important. You shall find it to be very worth your while.”

She clutched the gem then; confused, but otherwise secure. She appreciated the warmth it provided her. She was ready then, she decided, to step through. Whatever awaited her on the other side, she would be ready for.  
“Well...thank you, kindly guide. Even if I never see you again, I wish you well.” She figured for as little as she knew about herself then, that she was never good at goodbyes. But her guide didn’t seem to mind, simply nodding in return as she crossed the threshold.

And with that, Emet Selch said goodbye to the last thing he truly held dear. 

He lingered then, knowing full well that without crossing with her, he would never end up in the same moment as her, but this was fine, he told himself. She no longer needed him, for she was no longer a bringer of light. He would remind himself of this, as that lock of white hair would remain for millennia; a constant reminder of his dance with the light. 

He would never admit this, not even to his closest brothers, but in that moment, he had experienced a way to extinguish the light, far from Hydaelyn and Zodiark’s eyes. Within him, he would hold the small taint that had existed inside of the warrior, and it would always be his downfall. This small moment, where Hades sympathized for what was left of his friends, where the light could reach him only this much. This would see his end. This would separate him from his brothers. This weakness, this sympathy. 

This mortality.

This was why he could never again touch the light. This fear of being the man who ruined everything once more. 

But only he would have the burden of knowing it.


End file.
